Lord,
As we prepare to lay our heads on plush pillows, may we remember your goodness. Let us survey our day and be grateful for all it contained.
You had us rise.
You gave us laughter.
You provide our shelter.
You filled our bellies.
You protected us from harm.
You fill our lungs and pump our hearts.
You forge rivers of strength where dams had been.
You seasoned our day with joy.
You allowed times of rest.
You blessed us with visions of "normal" as Dempsey climbed on the playset.
You strengthened the brotherly bonds of our boys.
You wove in conversations where we could share of your faithfulness.
Even in sadness, you remind us there is beauty to be had.
We are grateful for your blessings. We give you thanks for these and every one I don't have time to list.
Father, please heal our boy. Reach down from your throne, touch his body, and send those cancer cells to their death. Please continue to walk with us through this leukemia battle so that Dempsey may win the war.
We are tired, Lord. Often just as weary in spirit as we are in our physical beings. We have our own pains we need you to heal but we always put the greater need of Dempsey's healing before our own. You know.
We believe you designed this journey. We don't know all the whys and we are okay if we never know them all. Please afford us the luxury of seeing this war resolved with a happy ending. We know the "numbers" are good but our baby is still on the alter- waiting for your rescue. We ask for the faith of Abraham (Genesis 22). We pray that we will trust you the whole way, knowing that you are a God of miracles.
You made Dempsey for this war and you placed him in our ranks. May we endeavor to be the support, encouragement, and leaders in love that he needs to win. This is a battlefield and we ask your protection and blessing over it. Please shine your beacon of hope into each dark night and steady our steps as we walk uncharted paths.
We pray for our son! We beg you to release him from this war. We pray that you will remove the cancer from his body, never to return. As Abraham weeped over Isaac during his obedience, so we weep over Dempsey as we place him on the alter and await your redemption.
Lord, don't leave us. Be ever present with us. Tangible. Holy. Just. Good. Send your rainbows, your promises to our family. Bind evil away from us. Keep us armed for battle and on our knees until victory arrives.
We are your servants. We will walk whatever journey you lay out for us. We believe you are with us and also go before us in time and space. We love you and are thankful you have brought us this far.
Amen
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Friday, May 20, 2016
Melts My Heart
Dempsey just came out to give me love... like he always does right before going to bed. Precious rituals. He was going on and on about Star Wars Lego wii game and how they still need to get Slave One (a bounty hunter's ship). I love when he explains things to me using his verbiage and hand gestures. Precious. I wish you could hear his sweet voice.
As he walks down the hall to his room, this happens:
"Goodnight, Mom."
"Goodnight, I love you."
"I love you, too. Have a good time sleeping with Daddy."
"Ok, I will."
This sweet boy says the sweetest things. What makes it magical is that he means it. His heart is just ON IT.
While he was explaining things to me, I was thinking wow... all this junk that's going in his body, all that his body is fighting... and his mind is still completely in tact. He can think clearly, articulate his thoughts, ask good questions, process life, exude happiness, pray honestly, etc, etc.
God is so good. Yes, this journey is unthinkable and hard and scary. Yes, we wish it wasn't happening. Yes, we are scared for our baby. Yes, it's an emotional roller coaster. But God knew this was our story. God grew Dempsey inside my womb knowing his body was going to bear this burden. With that knowledge, God decided to give Dempsey to US. That tells me God believed in us. He believed we were the perfect pair (plus one Sawyer) to walk with Dempsey through leukemia. There is a strength that comes from that. Are we on our knees praying that this cup will pass us? Totally. But, until the Lord decides to remove it miraculously or through the drawn out practice that is the standard of care... we will continue to ask you to support us with prayer and however else you feel led to.
As he walks down the hall to his room, this happens:
"Goodnight, Mom."
"Goodnight, I love you."
"I love you, too. Have a good time sleeping with Daddy."
"Ok, I will."
This sweet boy says the sweetest things. What makes it magical is that he means it. His heart is just ON IT.
While he was explaining things to me, I was thinking wow... all this junk that's going in his body, all that his body is fighting... and his mind is still completely in tact. He can think clearly, articulate his thoughts, ask good questions, process life, exude happiness, pray honestly, etc, etc.
God is so good. Yes, this journey is unthinkable and hard and scary. Yes, we wish it wasn't happening. Yes, we are scared for our baby. Yes, it's an emotional roller coaster. But God knew this was our story. God grew Dempsey inside my womb knowing his body was going to bear this burden. With that knowledge, God decided to give Dempsey to US. That tells me God believed in us. He believed we were the perfect pair (plus one Sawyer) to walk with Dempsey through leukemia. There is a strength that comes from that. Are we on our knees praying that this cup will pass us? Totally. But, until the Lord decides to remove it miraculously or through the drawn out practice that is the standard of care... we will continue to ask you to support us with prayer and however else you feel led to.
Blessings
Today was another great day, despite it containing a lab draw/ port access.
Jake got a call this evening about Dempsey's "numbers". His ANC is still too low to do chemo on Monday. So, he will have more labs done and we will plan to start chemo on Tuesday.
Jake and Dempsey went to the Clinic this morning.
I dropped Sawyer off at school.
I swung by Parkville to gather my belongings and say some sort of farewell. *sad*
Jake and Dempsey came home and Jake made homemade pizza for lunch. Delicious.
I picked Sawyer up from school.
We ALL went to Anaconda Park. Yes, ALL OF US. Dempsey rode his trike around a few times. Then Jake took him to a different playground... one with better swings and less people (aka germs).
Sawyer and I stayed at the park having fun with a bunch of WCSP peeps. Sawyer got his face painted.
Jake and Dempsey picked us up and we went home.
Spent the rest of the day together as a family as home.
Had dinner.
Did bath time.
Now the boys are all watching What's In The Bible?- our nightly ritual.
Dempsey has had great energy. A sunny disposition. Helpful attitude. Curious questions. He even went outside all of his own accord!!! Y'all, I cannot impress upon you how HUGE that is. He's been afraid of walking outside without assistance, despite having the ability. So, tonight, not only did he go outside but he climbed on the playset. This made Jake and I extremely happy and nervous enough where Jake went outside to "watch". We just cannot take any chances with Dempsey. Sometimes we start to forget how fragile he really is right now.
I didn't juice today- ran out of time. Our Vitamix came today!! (Thank you!!! You know who you are.) So, can you guess what I'm going to be doing tomorrow? :-)
I can't wait to see my chiropractor tomorrow. It's gonna be a long journey to get me back to where I was pre-CHOC.
Prayer requests:
Pray against fevers
Pray for miraculous healing
Pray for health miracles all along the way
Pray for protection
Pray for treatment
Pray for strength in all areas (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional)
Pray for solid rest
Pray for fun
Pray against side effects
Pray for our support structure
Pray for Sawyer during this journey
Pray that we will keep a right perspective
Pray that our journey is positively impacting the Kingdom
Pray as you feel led
Jake got a call this evening about Dempsey's "numbers". His ANC is still too low to do chemo on Monday. So, he will have more labs done and we will plan to start chemo on Tuesday.
Jake and Dempsey went to the Clinic this morning.
I dropped Sawyer off at school.
I swung by Parkville to gather my belongings and say some sort of farewell. *sad*
Jake and Dempsey came home and Jake made homemade pizza for lunch. Delicious.
I picked Sawyer up from school.
We ALL went to Anaconda Park. Yes, ALL OF US. Dempsey rode his trike around a few times. Then Jake took him to a different playground... one with better swings and less people (aka germs).
Sawyer and I stayed at the park having fun with a bunch of WCSP peeps. Sawyer got his face painted.
Jake and Dempsey picked us up and we went home.
Spent the rest of the day together as a family as home.
Had dinner.
Did bath time.
Now the boys are all watching What's In The Bible?- our nightly ritual.
Dempsey has had great energy. A sunny disposition. Helpful attitude. Curious questions. He even went outside all of his own accord!!! Y'all, I cannot impress upon you how HUGE that is. He's been afraid of walking outside without assistance, despite having the ability. So, tonight, not only did he go outside but he climbed on the playset. This made Jake and I extremely happy and nervous enough where Jake went outside to "watch". We just cannot take any chances with Dempsey. Sometimes we start to forget how fragile he really is right now.
I didn't juice today- ran out of time. Our Vitamix came today!! (Thank you!!! You know who you are.) So, can you guess what I'm going to be doing tomorrow? :-)
I can't wait to see my chiropractor tomorrow. It's gonna be a long journey to get me back to where I was pre-CHOC.
Prayer requests:
Pray against fevers
Pray for miraculous healing
Pray for health miracles all along the way
Pray for protection
Pray for treatment
Pray for strength in all areas (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional)
Pray for solid rest
Pray for fun
Pray against side effects
Pray for our support structure
Pray for Sawyer during this journey
Pray that we will keep a right perspective
Pray that our journey is positively impacting the Kingdom
Pray as you feel led
WE LOVE YOU AND ARE GRATEFUL FOR YOU- ALL OF YOU!!!!
Chick fil-A Fundraiser: June 7th from 5-8pm @ Chick fil-A La Habra Marketplace
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Update
Praise God, we have had two more incredible days. Dempsey has been happy, chatty, loving, giggly, active, enthusiastic, comical, a wee bit emotional, fever-free, gaining strength, increasing in confidence...
He and Sawyer have had quite a few gigglefests. It makes me laugh listening to them make each other laugh so hard they snort or can't catch their breath. It is good for the soul, that kind of laughter. I do tend to rain on their hysteria parade when their decibel level gets too high or I feel they are forcing it. They just tend to find word sounds comical. Example: "giggle bumps" sends them into a giggling fit. Then we butcher the English language with phrases like biggle gumps or poodle noodles. The best is when it's night time, they're in the bath, you can tell they're tired despite them denying it... and these gigglefests begin. I love to eavesdrop and catch those moments when one makes the other laugh so hard there's no sound coming out. I'm chuckling just thinking about it. Precious, precious moments.
As I watch Dempsey these days, I am assured, in my spirit that the Lord pushed back Dempsey's treatment so we could gain strength this week. Strength physically- nutrition, rest, laughter, triking, etc. Strength mentally- preparing ourselves for the battle ahead and bracing for the unknowns that await. Strength spiritually- being able to step back and survey the current landscape. It is covered with the fingerprints of God. That also helps us pick the right armor to wear into the next battle in this war called Cancer. Strength emotionally- the time between treatments has given us time to process our emotions and even some of our fears of what's to come. This week has been a blessing. So much so, that it seems foolish to have been sad about treatment waiting.
Dempsey has a blood draw tomorrow to check his counts again. So tired of him needing all these labs which require his port to be accessed. Remember what that means? It means a 3/4 to 1 inch needle shoved through his skin into his portacath so they can either draw blood or give infusions (chemo all the way down to IV fluids). Thankfully there is a topical numbing cream to help alleviate pain. Unfortunately it doesn't alleviate the anxiety. Pray that time will bring acceptance and a strong will do just get it done- from Dempsey. I'm not sure I'll ever feel good about Dempsey being accessed. Even with as many good appointments as he's had... it's just not easy for the parents. Tomorrow's appointment should be short and relatively painless- God willing.
Sawyer has his next to last Friday School tomorrow. So, while Jake is taking Dempsey to his early morning labs appointment, I will be taking Sawyer to school. I hope I can remember to look for his silver stainless steel water bottle that he left there (he thinks) last week.
Our friend, Ellen, is helping me beef up a garden again. This time we're doing things above ground, in pots. So far the pots have zucchini and bell peppers. Yay! The in-ground plants are tomatoes and cucumber. The in-ground plants along with the herbs were blessings the WACC Serve Weekend crew left for us. Bless you who served at our house!! Since Ellen is the brains of this outfit, I'm not exactly sure what she's planning. I told her "Just tell me what you need from me (money) and I'll get it to you." Hahaha She loves this sort of thing... starting from seed and growing these amazing living and life-giving creations. I can water them and tend them. I'm okay at that. I'm super motivated this go-round so I'm hoping the Lord continues to fill me with the thought, desire, and care capabilities to make this a success. After all, we now have shelves in our kitchen to hold the glorious bounty.
Sawyer wants playdates. Poor kid. It really is hard on him to be stuck at home so much. So, if any of y'all want to whisk him away for a few hours some day(s) please let me know. Fill out the Got Questions? form and we'll connect. For as hard as this journey is on Sawyer, he really is an outstanding big brother. Dempsey doesn't realize how blessed he is. Sawyer is good about relinquishing control, albeit begrudgingly sometimes, because he knows about balance and the Golden Rule. Some days all he wants is to pester Dempsey. Other days he's all about caring and doting on little brother. Most days are a mix of the two. No matter how much (material items) he is blessed with or how much he feels he has to give up to please Dempsey... he really does maintain a solid character foundation. A lot of his thoughts are about the Lord and how God is IN every aspect of life. This fact, about Sawyer, helps me accept the material blessings Sawyer is being showered with. Sawyer is teachable and I am grateful. I couldn't ask for a more enjoyable kid to hang out with... or be stuck under house arrest with. Lets face it, cancer is certainly more along the lines of house arrest than those lovely stay-cations.
Jake... lets talk about Jake. He went back to work this week. Perhaps he'll enlighten you on how that went all on his own. But, for now, it seems to me it has been a good thing. He is planning to go back to work only three days a week right now out of concern for the stress his working full time would place me under. So thoughtful and absolutely correct. As it is, there is a bit of anxiety with him being gone the three days. Another opportunity for growth. I think going back to work will be good for Jake. A sense of normal. A sense of being productive and viable and free from these four walls we call home. He needs to be away. It's healthy. It's life-giving. I'm so grateful he had a job to go back to. I know that isn't always the case for families in our situation. God's provision.
Well, there's more I could say. There's more I would like to say. In another post, at another time. I'm tired and I want to snuggle with my lover and watch our guilty pleasure of Big Bang Theory (we're at least a season behind so don't any of you share anything at all that might spoil the future) before drifting off.
Prayer requests (can't forget these):
Pray for miraculous healing
Pray for strength
Pray against fevers
Pray against anxiety
Pray against worry and fear
Pray for a smooth appointment tomorrow morning
Pray against pain
Pray for travel mercies
Pray for a good school day
Pray for physical healing
Pray for mental strength and wisdom
Pray for emotional strength
Pray for our support structure- we still need it
Pray for Jake as he balances everything and work
Pray for grace
Pray for good, open communication
Pray as you feel led
He and Sawyer have had quite a few gigglefests. It makes me laugh listening to them make each other laugh so hard they snort or can't catch their breath. It is good for the soul, that kind of laughter. I do tend to rain on their hysteria parade when their decibel level gets too high or I feel they are forcing it. They just tend to find word sounds comical. Example: "giggle bumps" sends them into a giggling fit. Then we butcher the English language with phrases like biggle gumps or poodle noodles. The best is when it's night time, they're in the bath, you can tell they're tired despite them denying it... and these gigglefests begin. I love to eavesdrop and catch those moments when one makes the other laugh so hard there's no sound coming out. I'm chuckling just thinking about it. Precious, precious moments.
As I watch Dempsey these days, I am assured, in my spirit that the Lord pushed back Dempsey's treatment so we could gain strength this week. Strength physically- nutrition, rest, laughter, triking, etc. Strength mentally- preparing ourselves for the battle ahead and bracing for the unknowns that await. Strength spiritually- being able to step back and survey the current landscape. It is covered with the fingerprints of God. That also helps us pick the right armor to wear into the next battle in this war called Cancer. Strength emotionally- the time between treatments has given us time to process our emotions and even some of our fears of what's to come. This week has been a blessing. So much so, that it seems foolish to have been sad about treatment waiting.
Dempsey has a blood draw tomorrow to check his counts again. So tired of him needing all these labs which require his port to be accessed. Remember what that means? It means a 3/4 to 1 inch needle shoved through his skin into his portacath so they can either draw blood or give infusions (chemo all the way down to IV fluids). Thankfully there is a topical numbing cream to help alleviate pain. Unfortunately it doesn't alleviate the anxiety. Pray that time will bring acceptance and a strong will do just get it done- from Dempsey. I'm not sure I'll ever feel good about Dempsey being accessed. Even with as many good appointments as he's had... it's just not easy for the parents. Tomorrow's appointment should be short and relatively painless- God willing.
Sawyer has his next to last Friday School tomorrow. So, while Jake is taking Dempsey to his early morning labs appointment, I will be taking Sawyer to school. I hope I can remember to look for his silver stainless steel water bottle that he left there (he thinks) last week.
Our friend, Ellen, is helping me beef up a garden again. This time we're doing things above ground, in pots. So far the pots have zucchini and bell peppers. Yay! The in-ground plants are tomatoes and cucumber. The in-ground plants along with the herbs were blessings the WACC Serve Weekend crew left for us. Bless you who served at our house!! Since Ellen is the brains of this outfit, I'm not exactly sure what she's planning. I told her "Just tell me what you need from me (money) and I'll get it to you." Hahaha She loves this sort of thing... starting from seed and growing these amazing living and life-giving creations. I can water them and tend them. I'm okay at that. I'm super motivated this go-round so I'm hoping the Lord continues to fill me with the thought, desire, and care capabilities to make this a success. After all, we now have shelves in our kitchen to hold the glorious bounty.
Sawyer wants playdates. Poor kid. It really is hard on him to be stuck at home so much. So, if any of y'all want to whisk him away for a few hours some day(s) please let me know. Fill out the Got Questions? form and we'll connect. For as hard as this journey is on Sawyer, he really is an outstanding big brother. Dempsey doesn't realize how blessed he is. Sawyer is good about relinquishing control, albeit begrudgingly sometimes, because he knows about balance and the Golden Rule. Some days all he wants is to pester Dempsey. Other days he's all about caring and doting on little brother. Most days are a mix of the two. No matter how much (material items) he is blessed with or how much he feels he has to give up to please Dempsey... he really does maintain a solid character foundation. A lot of his thoughts are about the Lord and how God is IN every aspect of life. This fact, about Sawyer, helps me accept the material blessings Sawyer is being showered with. Sawyer is teachable and I am grateful. I couldn't ask for a more enjoyable kid to hang out with... or be stuck under house arrest with. Lets face it, cancer is certainly more along the lines of house arrest than those lovely stay-cations.
Jake... lets talk about Jake. He went back to work this week. Perhaps he'll enlighten you on how that went all on his own. But, for now, it seems to me it has been a good thing. He is planning to go back to work only three days a week right now out of concern for the stress his working full time would place me under. So thoughtful and absolutely correct. As it is, there is a bit of anxiety with him being gone the three days. Another opportunity for growth. I think going back to work will be good for Jake. A sense of normal. A sense of being productive and viable and free from these four walls we call home. He needs to be away. It's healthy. It's life-giving. I'm so grateful he had a job to go back to. I know that isn't always the case for families in our situation. God's provision.
Well, there's more I could say. There's more I would like to say. In another post, at another time. I'm tired and I want to snuggle with my lover and watch our guilty pleasure of Big Bang Theory (we're at least a season behind so don't any of you share anything at all that might spoil the future) before drifting off.
Prayer requests (can't forget these):
Pray for miraculous healing
Pray for strength
Pray against fevers
Pray against anxiety
Pray against worry and fear
Pray for a smooth appointment tomorrow morning
Pray against pain
Pray for travel mercies
Pray for a good school day
Pray for physical healing
Pray for mental strength and wisdom
Pray for emotional strength
Pray for our support structure- we still need it
Pray for Jake as he balances everything and work
Pray for grace
Pray for good, open communication
Pray as you feel led
WE LOVE YOU AND ARE GRATEFUL FOR YOU- ALL OF YOU!!!!
Chick fil-A Fundraiser: June 7th from 5-8pm @ Chick fil-A La Habra Marketplace
Pics- Not Many
My friend Holly, at hoohasastory.origamiowl.com made these (non-Origami Owl) lovelies for Dempsey to give to his ladies. :-) I have yet to sit down with Dempsey and figure out who he'd like to give them too. Can't wait to see who he chooses.
Our first Farm Fresh to You delivery came yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. What a delicious box goodness and health. THIS is healthcare!!
Oh, these two. They are their father's sons.
Aaaaaand, we've started juicing again. I simply do not have the luxury of time when it comes to getting these nutrients into Dempsey's body. If he won't eat them, he'll drink them. Praise God he's always like real juice and that the meds haven't changed that fact. God's provision.
These gems came in the mail. So thankful to have more of this amazing NeoLife Aloe Vera Plus BEFORE Dempsey starts this new round of gnarly chemo/ drugs. Having this gallon means not having to run and get some because ours is running low. Why aloe juice? Because it has incredible healing properties. It is a blessing to your liver and kidneys (and MANY other organs). Since Dempsey's new chemo is going to require a six hour IV fluid flush because of the harshness of the chemo on his kidneys, I wanted to be stocked with this life-giving liquid to help his body heal itself.
I had stopped checking this because the goal was met... but people still find it (it's still active) and they still feel led to give. It's a beautiful thing.
Little man wasn't quite as ready to rise and shine as perhaps he thought. Sweet baby all snuggly in his soft Spiderman blanket, made with love by a dear friend.
So blessed he can hardly see! LOL I've taken to keeping a spreadsheet of all the Lego sets these monkeys have because so many people want to bless them with fun things like this. The spreadsheet helps me keep their Amazon lists accurate and current. That reminds me... I need to add those three to their spreadsheet.
So, this happened today. Went to Home Depot and bought shelves because we simply have zero counter space for storing produce. Also, since we are going to be using A LOT more produce, I'm getting edumacated (educated) on the right way to store this healthy goodness. Cancer... not just a journey about unpronouncable medical terms. Three days of juicing and Dempsey, each day, has more nutrients in one 8oz cup than the average American kid gets in a week! Kudos.
Okay, I don't know who you are... but THANK YOU!! These are some goodies that showed up on our doorstep over the last few days. This is what the alternative to Dial hand soap and your run-of-the-mill hand sanitizer looks like. That's right, I'm ditching the junk in favor of ZERO toxins, detox methods, immune boosting properties... and more. Take that medical personnel who recommend toxin-laden items as a way to kill germies. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS.
HERE'S TO HEALTH!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
A Wonderful Day
What a day! What a great day!
Yes, Dempsey had a follow up appointment with an Infectious Disease doctor today. Not exactly the department you want in your life. However, today we were glad to have them. Dr. Ashouri told us his recent MRI "looks great", that there is nothing to give her pause, and that he need not continue/ refill the Levofloxacin he has been taking. Praise God, one more drug off the list.
Dempsey has been chatty. He's been giggly. He's been playful. He's been a jokester. He's been goofy. He wanted to play "with blankets" with Sawyer... something he hasn't done since this journey started.
He walked today. He walked, and walked, and WALKED. Unassisted. Without complaint. Mostly without fear. He was walking so well, considering, that he almost forgot he had a problem walking. Once or twice I saw his body get away from him, so eager to move like it used to, but he caught himself. He walked from the van all the way to his appointment and back.
He triked. This evening he peddled his little heart out. He peddled so hard he tuckered himself out. A glorious reality. I'd wager he rode that trike about a mile. Not bad for a kid who plum couldn't stand without help six weeks ago. That tryke was absolutely the right thing for him!
He go his veggies, by golly. I decided that if he won't EAT his veggies, he will DRINK his veggies. Tonight I juiced for the first time since this journey began. I know, I know... what do you mean the Holistic Nutritionist hasn't juiced until now. Don't judge. Shock and fear are powerful and they take some time to overcome. Just trust me. Having regained my footing in this respect, there will be LOTS MORE JUICE. So, if you're interested in blessing Dempsey in this way, please consider gifting us an egift certificate from Farm Fresh To You. We are already members of this CSA but with as much juicing as Dempsey needs to do, any help we can get here would be an immense blessing. Today's juice included (all organic and washed with Green): rainbow chard, carrots, cucumber, broccoli, kale, beet, granny smith apples, pineapple. Sawyer was bummed that I forgot the lemon. Well, there's always next time. I would LOVE to go into all the delicious, nutrient-dense details about these foods... but that's for whole other post. Suffice it to say, 8 ounces of this liquid health contains more nutrients than the average American child gets in a week. Again, a whole other post.
Then came bath time. More brotherly antics and giggles. Makes this mama's heart burst with joy. They soaked in a milk bath from Bend Soap Company. We LOVE this company and it's owners. While the boys were soaking, their bodies were busy absorbing wonderful enzymes, vitamins, and proteins. Hello! Yes, please! Not to mention the silky smooth skin.
Post-bath time brings goats milk lotion from Bend Soap and essential oils from doTERRA. We LOVE our oils! I add frankincense, sandalwood, and a Grounding Blend to the lotion and massage Dempsey's legs and arms. Then I drop some Frankincense and that Grounding Blend down his back as well. So relaxing in and balancing. To finish him off, I rub some of the Protective Blend on the bottoms of his little feet. I could go on and on about the power that these tiny drops possess but that, like the food, is for a whole post on its own. Just know this, they have antibacterial, anticatarrhal, antidepressant, antifungal, anti-infection, anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial, antiparasitic, antirheumatic, antiseptic, antispasmodic, antiviral, antihistaminic, analgesic, and immune-stimulating properties. Hello, again! Yes, please!!
I wholeheartedly believe the Lord moved Dempsey's treatment back so we can have a week to enjoy together while building up his nutrition base before getting slammed with a gnarly new regimen. This week is a blessing. Fear still lingers out there... days from now.
Prayer requests:
Pray against fear and worry
Pray for wisdom with nutrition and holistic living
Pray for wisdom regarding medications and knowing when to push back
Pray for strength
Pray against fevers! Always pray against fevers.
Pray against negative side effects
Pray for joy
Pray for courage
Pray for faith
Pray for rest
Pray for our support structure... we will need it for another 3.5 years
Pray for the fundraisers... success for them means success for Dempsey
Pray protection over our marriage
Pray added protection over our family
Pray for the medical billing to work better than it should and in our favor
Pray for others who are suffering and struggling... never before has "pray without ceasing" been a viable option- so many needs
Pray for hearts and eyes to see God's provision
Pray against the shadow of pride
Pray as you feel led
Yes, Dempsey had a follow up appointment with an Infectious Disease doctor today. Not exactly the department you want in your life. However, today we were glad to have them. Dr. Ashouri told us his recent MRI "looks great", that there is nothing to give her pause, and that he need not continue/ refill the Levofloxacin he has been taking. Praise God, one more drug off the list.
Dempsey has been chatty. He's been giggly. He's been playful. He's been a jokester. He's been goofy. He wanted to play "with blankets" with Sawyer... something he hasn't done since this journey started.
He walked today. He walked, and walked, and WALKED. Unassisted. Without complaint. Mostly without fear. He was walking so well, considering, that he almost forgot he had a problem walking. Once or twice I saw his body get away from him, so eager to move like it used to, but he caught himself. He walked from the van all the way to his appointment and back.
He triked. This evening he peddled his little heart out. He peddled so hard he tuckered himself out. A glorious reality. I'd wager he rode that trike about a mile. Not bad for a kid who plum couldn't stand without help six weeks ago. That tryke was absolutely the right thing for him!
He go his veggies, by golly. I decided that if he won't EAT his veggies, he will DRINK his veggies. Tonight I juiced for the first time since this journey began. I know, I know... what do you mean the Holistic Nutritionist hasn't juiced until now. Don't judge. Shock and fear are powerful and they take some time to overcome. Just trust me. Having regained my footing in this respect, there will be LOTS MORE JUICE. So, if you're interested in blessing Dempsey in this way, please consider gifting us an egift certificate from Farm Fresh To You. We are already members of this CSA but with as much juicing as Dempsey needs to do, any help we can get here would be an immense blessing. Today's juice included (all organic and washed with Green): rainbow chard, carrots, cucumber, broccoli, kale, beet, granny smith apples, pineapple. Sawyer was bummed that I forgot the lemon. Well, there's always next time. I would LOVE to go into all the delicious, nutrient-dense details about these foods... but that's for whole other post. Suffice it to say, 8 ounces of this liquid health contains more nutrients than the average American child gets in a week. Again, a whole other post.
Then came bath time. More brotherly antics and giggles. Makes this mama's heart burst with joy. They soaked in a milk bath from Bend Soap Company. We LOVE this company and it's owners. While the boys were soaking, their bodies were busy absorbing wonderful enzymes, vitamins, and proteins. Hello! Yes, please! Not to mention the silky smooth skin.
Post-bath time brings goats milk lotion from Bend Soap and essential oils from doTERRA. We LOVE our oils! I add frankincense, sandalwood, and a Grounding Blend to the lotion and massage Dempsey's legs and arms. Then I drop some Frankincense and that Grounding Blend down his back as well. So relaxing in and balancing. To finish him off, I rub some of the Protective Blend on the bottoms of his little feet. I could go on and on about the power that these tiny drops possess but that, like the food, is for a whole post on its own. Just know this, they have antibacterial, anticatarrhal, antidepressant, antifungal, anti-infection, anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial, antiparasitic, antirheumatic, antiseptic, antispasmodic, antiviral, antihistaminic, analgesic, and immune-stimulating properties. Hello, again! Yes, please!!
I wholeheartedly believe the Lord moved Dempsey's treatment back so we can have a week to enjoy together while building up his nutrition base before getting slammed with a gnarly new regimen. This week is a blessing. Fear still lingers out there... days from now.
Prayer requests:
Pray against fear and worry
Pray for wisdom with nutrition and holistic living
Pray for wisdom regarding medications and knowing when to push back
Pray for strength
Pray against fevers! Always pray against fevers.
Pray against negative side effects
Pray for joy
Pray for courage
Pray for faith
Pray for rest
Pray for our support structure... we will need it for another 3.5 years
Pray for the fundraisers... success for them means success for Dempsey
Pray protection over our marriage
Pray added protection over our family
Pray for the medical billing to work better than it should and in our favor
Pray for others who are suffering and struggling... never before has "pray without ceasing" been a viable option- so many needs
Pray for hearts and eyes to see God's provision
Pray against the shadow of pride
Pray as you feel led
Monday, May 16, 2016
A Hard Conversation Followed by God's Confirmation
A card came in the mail today. It came about an hour after I had a hard conversation with my employer. You see, I had to tell them I won't be returning to work. *tears* There is just no way. Looking at the schedule of Dempsey's current treatment plan, there is simply no way Jake and I can both work. There are many weeks where Dempsey will have to go to CHOC at least four times. That's a lot. That's a lot and it's not even taking into account the high likelihood of Dempsey being inpatient for fevers or colds.
I hung up the phone with a very heavy heart. Parkville has been my family since 2005. While working there I got married, bought Kamatz (cat), had Sawyer, bought a minivan, went through a family tragedy & buried my aunt (2008), got Lakota (cat), bought a house, buried my Granny (2011), buried my Granddad (2011), had Dempsey, became a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, had knee surgery, buried my Grandma (2015) has LASIK, etc. This is just MY life and doesn't take into account what I experienced in the lives of my amazing coworkers. Family, I tell you, family.
So, I said a tentative-but-probably-permanent good-bye to my Parkville family. What God did next, within the hour, is indescribable.
Back to the card, here's what it said:
It goes one to say,
I haven't even mentioned what came IN the card. It was a check. It was a check that covered a month's salary for me. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. God blessed someone with enough to bless me with enough. It is a beautiful thing, God's economy.
To the friend who sent this card, I (we) thank you. From the very depths of our hearts we thank you. You are selfless, obedient, willing, loving, caring, supportive, and you bless us.
I hung up the phone with a very heavy heart. Parkville has been my family since 2005. While working there I got married, bought Kamatz (cat), had Sawyer, bought a minivan, went through a family tragedy & buried my aunt (2008), got Lakota (cat), bought a house, buried my Granny (2011), buried my Granddad (2011), had Dempsey, became a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, had knee surgery, buried my Grandma (2015) has LASIK, etc. This is just MY life and doesn't take into account what I experienced in the lives of my amazing coworkers. Family, I tell you, family.
So, I said a tentative-but-probably-permanent good-bye to my Parkville family. What God did next, within the hour, is indescribable.
Back to the card, here's what it said:
Ps 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. *Sound like anyone you know? Hint: it's me.*
Praying for His strength to sustain you on your journey.
Dear Jacob, Coral, Sawyer, and Dempsey- I'm praying for your family. I hope this gift will encourage you that God will provide all you need (even if you can't get back to working right away, Coral). In Christ's love, ___________.I'm not going to share the friend's name because I wouldn't want to embarrass them or cause them unwanted attention. Suffice it to say, this person was a willing vessel of God's love and provision. The words they used come straight from the Father and speak right to my (our) heart. They couldn't have known I was going to have that hard conversation with my employer. No one knew. Not even me, until this afternoon.
I haven't even mentioned what came IN the card. It was a check. It was a check that covered a month's salary for me. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. God blessed someone with enough to bless me with enough. It is a beautiful thing, God's economy.
To the friend who sent this card, I (we) thank you. From the very depths of our hearts we thank you. You are selfless, obedient, willing, loving, caring, supportive, and you bless us.
Parenting A Child With Cancer Is Hard
If you think parenting a normal, healthy child is hard, then parenting a child with cancer (or special needs) must be impossible.
I'm not saying parenting is easy. It's hands down the hardest job on the planet. It's also so totally worth it. These little blank slates that we get to impart our wisdom on and mold into hopefully amazing adults capable of changing the world. The potential is there.
Last night my heart was broken simply by the act of parenting (disciplining) my child with cancer. Contrary to popular beliefs, Dempsey isn't perfect. Shocking, I know. For dinner I made the following: salmon filets, veggie soup (zucchini, tomatoes, potatoes, onions, celery, carrots, cumin, paprika, salt, pepper- delicious), and a veggie salad (celery, cauliflower, broccoli, pine nuts, mayo, honey, vinegar). It was scrumptious. However, Dempsey was completely put off by ALL the vegetables. Now, he's typically a very good eater. So, I'm not sure exactly what this is all about except perhaps the potential that we got too lax with him when he was inpatient at CHOC. Hard to remain dietetically strong in a place like that.
Regardless, Jake made Dempsey try one bite of the salad. Dempsey was so worked up that he didn't even keep it in his mouth for 30 seconds before throwing up. Lovely. I was so mad. I mean, the food is not gross. It's not gooey, so there's no texture concern (oatmeal takes effort for Demps right now). He simply psyched himself out so much his body revolted.
All I could do was glare at him. Then comes the guilt. You saw that coming, right?
My kid doesn't realize that he MUST eat a ton of veggies to remain healthy. More than he's ever eaten before. I don't know why he thinks he doesn't like these veggies... he's eaten them before. I will NOT have him controlling what he eats... because he doesn't know what's best for him. He simply knows what he likes.
I just want him strong. He doesn't understand that. We are changing our diet and he needs to get on board- for his health! I don't know what to do. I don't want to force him to eat because I'm afraid of creating a food-related problem (disorder). I can not allow him to skip all these veggies because he needs them... all of them.
So many emotions...
Prayer requests:
Pray that Dempsey will welcome all veggies
Pray that he will not resist the food we provide
Pray that he will accept what we tell him regardless of understanding
Pray for our resolve as parents
Pray that we can get Dempsey healthy with solid nutrition
Pray for wisdom
Pray as you feel led
I'm not saying parenting is easy. It's hands down the hardest job on the planet. It's also so totally worth it. These little blank slates that we get to impart our wisdom on and mold into hopefully amazing adults capable of changing the world. The potential is there.
Last night my heart was broken simply by the act of parenting (disciplining) my child with cancer. Contrary to popular beliefs, Dempsey isn't perfect. Shocking, I know. For dinner I made the following: salmon filets, veggie soup (zucchini, tomatoes, potatoes, onions, celery, carrots, cumin, paprika, salt, pepper- delicious), and a veggie salad (celery, cauliflower, broccoli, pine nuts, mayo, honey, vinegar). It was scrumptious. However, Dempsey was completely put off by ALL the vegetables. Now, he's typically a very good eater. So, I'm not sure exactly what this is all about except perhaps the potential that we got too lax with him when he was inpatient at CHOC. Hard to remain dietetically strong in a place like that.
Regardless, Jake made Dempsey try one bite of the salad. Dempsey was so worked up that he didn't even keep it in his mouth for 30 seconds before throwing up. Lovely. I was so mad. I mean, the food is not gross. It's not gooey, so there's no texture concern (oatmeal takes effort for Demps right now). He simply psyched himself out so much his body revolted.
All I could do was glare at him. Then comes the guilt. You saw that coming, right?
My kid doesn't realize that he MUST eat a ton of veggies to remain healthy. More than he's ever eaten before. I don't know why he thinks he doesn't like these veggies... he's eaten them before. I will NOT have him controlling what he eats... because he doesn't know what's best for him. He simply knows what he likes.
I just want him strong. He doesn't understand that. We are changing our diet and he needs to get on board- for his health! I don't know what to do. I don't want to force him to eat because I'm afraid of creating a food-related problem (disorder). I can not allow him to skip all these veggies because he needs them... all of them.
So many emotions...
Prayer requests:
Pray that Dempsey will welcome all veggies
Pray that he will not resist the food we provide
Pray that he will accept what we tell him regardless of understanding
Pray for our resolve as parents
Pray that we can get Dempsey healthy with solid nutrition
Pray for wisdom
Pray as you feel led
Sunday, May 15, 2016
I'm Scared About Tomorrow
I'm scared about tomorrow. Not gonna lie.
Tomorrow brings for Dempsey a lab draw (accessing his port, drawing blood, running tests to make sure his numbers are high enough to move forward) EARLY in the morning- 7:30am. This means no food or drink after midnight.
If the results of his labs show his blood counts high enough, tomorrow brings yet another lumbar puncture and then a chemo infusion which is short but requires SIX HOURS of flushing IV fluids. Six hours, folks. That's some seriously serious drug they are going to pump into my baby and then flush like the dickens. You can bet your stars I will be forcing some NeoLife Aloe Vera Plus into Dempsey to help his kidneys and liver!
If the results of his labs show low blood counts, the LP and chemo get pushed back to Tuesday and he will receive an infusion of blood and platelets.
I just want to get the awful first day of phase two out of the way. I feel like if we just make it through that day then the others will seem a bit easier. Foolish? Perhaps. But I'll take any sort of strength/ hope I can right about now.
I don't know how Jake, Sawyer, and I are going to manage. So much time to spend at CHOC tomorrow from really early until the late afternoon. I am not thrilled about this. I'm afraid I might not sleep because of the anxiety.
Seriously, I just want to fall asleep, wake up, and have everything be mundane again. Those were the days.
Prayer requests:
Pray for good rest.
Pray for Dempsey to have no pain.
Pray that Dempsey has courage.
Pray for good distractions.
Pray for smooth procedure with no complications.
Pray against side effects.
Pray for miraculous healing.
Pray for strength.
Pray for clear minds.
Pray for peace.
Pray for faith.
Pray against fear and worry.
Pray against being overwhelmed.
Pray for mercies.
Pray for any miracle God wants to give.
Pray as you feel led.
Tomorrow brings for Dempsey a lab draw (accessing his port, drawing blood, running tests to make sure his numbers are high enough to move forward) EARLY in the morning- 7:30am. This means no food or drink after midnight.
If the results of his labs show his blood counts high enough, tomorrow brings yet another lumbar puncture and then a chemo infusion which is short but requires SIX HOURS of flushing IV fluids. Six hours, folks. That's some seriously serious drug they are going to pump into my baby and then flush like the dickens. You can bet your stars I will be forcing some NeoLife Aloe Vera Plus into Dempsey to help his kidneys and liver!
If the results of his labs show low blood counts, the LP and chemo get pushed back to Tuesday and he will receive an infusion of blood and platelets.
I just want to get the awful first day of phase two out of the way. I feel like if we just make it through that day then the others will seem a bit easier. Foolish? Perhaps. But I'll take any sort of strength/ hope I can right about now.
I don't know how Jake, Sawyer, and I are going to manage. So much time to spend at CHOC tomorrow from really early until the late afternoon. I am not thrilled about this. I'm afraid I might not sleep because of the anxiety.
Seriously, I just want to fall asleep, wake up, and have everything be mundane again. Those were the days.
Prayer requests:
Pray for good rest.
Pray for Dempsey to have no pain.
Pray that Dempsey has courage.
Pray for good distractions.
Pray for smooth procedure with no complications.
Pray against side effects.
Pray for miraculous healing.
Pray for strength.
Pray for clear minds.
Pray for peace.
Pray for faith.
Pray against fear and worry.
Pray against being overwhelmed.
Pray for mercies.
Pray for any miracle God wants to give.
Pray as you feel led.
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