I am so proud of my boys! They handle fear and scary situations with grace and better composition than most adults.
I know a lot of that is due to WHO they are but I am going to assume some credit for this.
Why?
Because I heeded some wisdom from my mom and applied it to my children.
My mom always used to say it was important and good to "front load" kids with information. Information about what was coming. Warning them of pain that was coming, sensations that were new/ strange to them. Expressing my expectations of behavior and character.
Why is this a wise method? Simply because it builds trust.
Trust? Yes, trust.
Imagine someone telling you "It will be fine" or "It's not going to hurt" or my personal fave "There's nothing to worry about." As if one person has any clue as to what the other MIGHT be feeling in any given situation.
So, apply any of those phrases to a situation of getting a tooth pulled. Instead of preparing the child for what was to come people lie to them. That doesn't build trust.
Not me. Not my husband. We have always given what other adults think is too much information.
Examples from Kenagyville are as follows:
Dempsey getting a stitch on his forehead. I told him there would be pain. It WILL hurt for a little while and then all better. I explained the needle and suture process. He cried, a little bit. He was prepared. He held so still and took deep breaths. I was impressed!
Sawyer getting his first tooth extracted. I explained what was going to happen. When what I explained actually happened, he was confident and prepared. We built trust.
Dempsey getting his head stapled. Sawyer getting his head glued. Dempsey getting drops in his eye. Sawyer having his hearing tested.
Moral of the story- don't treat children as if they are dumb. Equip them with knowledge and prepare them for REALITY. It works. Not only does it work, it also makes the medical pros go "wow... I've never had a kid this calm..." :-)
