Nothing much to report here. That's always nice.
Dempsey is still at 75% dose of MTX and 6MP. That will likely change, for the worse, come Tuesday's lab results. I know the doctors will want to push him back up to 100% dose if his labs are good. I'm not prepared for a fight right now.
God, please protect my boy during my weak times. Amen
This passed Monday I had a complete breakdown. Fully equipped with ugly crying, puffy eyes for days, accusatory words, emotional depletion and distance, depression... the whole nine yards. It was bad. Poor Jake bore the brunt of it but the kids felt it too. Thankfully I am married to a man who loves me enough to walk through the fire and that there is infinite grace at the Cross.
So, what was the straw that broke this camel's back? The fact that Dempsey would not help Sawyer fold laundry. He just would not. The ONE thing I asked them to do and Dempsey just couldn't find it in himself to obey me. Even with Sawyer encouraging him. Even with me talking in nice tones and spewing positive words. Even with less-nice tones and phrases that started to elude to threats. Nope. Dempsey could only muster tears and disobedience while the front of his body seemed magnetized to the couch.
Naturally... I LOST IT. Like completely blew a gasket or three.
Poor Dempsey had his spirit trampled. Not my finest hour. Not quite my worst, but still... He and I talked, when I felt the fire on my head and in my heart has lessened to a smolder. We had a good talk. I apologized. I explained the idea of this family being a team. I reminded him how much we need HIM to do HIS part on this team just like the rest of us do OUR part. I don't know... maybe it's a tad too much for a 5 year old to grasp but I know he's intelligent. I also know we're all allowed to have bad days. What is not allowed is disobedience. I tried to explain that I don't expect a smile or cheery attitude about doing what is asked but I DO expect him to DO it. We'll see what happens next time.
What did all of this result in? Well, we now have no technology (ie NO TV, iPad, iPhone, wii, movies, Kindle, white noise, Junior Stories, etc). It's been 5 days and we will break this tech fast tonight for a movie night. Then, back to no tech. Why the leap from disobedience to no tech? Because technology is an idol in my children's hearts (ours too probably, if we're being honest) and it hinders them from being obedient.
The reality of all this?
1. I have limits and I am not always aware of the speed at which their end is approaching or from what direction.
2. Life without technology is beautiful and PRODUCTIVE! We have spent more time playing together, exploring, learning new games, using imagination, getting work done... and "work" doesn't seem like "work" to them because there is no "better" option (aka technology).
3. Naps can still happen at all our ages and are a great way to reset our bodies occasionally.
4. Priorities are MUCH clearer and seem to be more easily attained.
5. We were- are- addicted to tech. This is a hard truth to swallow but acknowledging you have a problem is the first step in working to correct it.
There you have it. A little update.
