Biggest Need

MONEY

It's not glamorous. It's not pretty. It's not fun. It's not creative. It's not ingenious. It's not smart. It's not comical.

It is endearing. It is powerful. It is helpful. It is necessary. It is provision. It is humbling. It is impactful. It is peace-providing.

You have two ways you can give: YouCaring & PayPal

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Praising Him Always

It is HARD to always praise God. We humans have these things called expectations and boy do they get in the way sometimes. I had the expectation of raising HEALTHY children, free of avoidable illnesses and prescription drugs. My kids were going to be pillars of health and hang their laurels on my holistic wisdom and fervent application upon them.

Right.

The one I touted as "the healthiest one of us all" is the very one who lands in the hospital, whose first surgery in life is to put a "port" in his chest, and who brings the word cancer front and center in our lives.

Expectations lay strewn across the path that is Coral's existence. 

Lesson learned? I AM NOT IN CONTROL.

I did not give Dempsey cancer, but I (we) will fight it with him. I cannot refuse "treatment" for him, but I can refuse to let treatment ruin any part of him. I do not have the strength to handle this journey, but I serve the One who does.


Daily, God is giving me what I need to endure. I praise him for that. I praise him for that and for so much more...
Friday was admission day. It was an early morning for ALL of us. Not only early but full of anxiety and stress. We got our room number- 542. Praise God- he granted my request to be on the same wing as our initial stay in April. When we saw who our day nurse was, we gave him praise again. See, Emily was our nurse. Emily is a friend of a friend who popped in after one of her shifts when we were in-patient in April. Jake and Dempsey met her on July 4th when Jake took Demps for an injection. She is a sweet woman and a Believer. It's just so nerve-calming to know that you are with a person who shares your beliefs when you feel wrung out by worry. Among the many familiar faces (another positive answer to prayers) was Ashley from Child Life. We love Ashley! Ashley is a saint in her own right although I know she's too humble to claim that title. Again, a fellow Believer and a friend from our April stay (and beyond).
Dempsey's port access went smoothly. Praise God. Dempsey had energy. Praise God. Dempsey seems to have no anxiety about being back on the 5th floor. Praise God. Dempsey doesn't seem to mind being tethered to his "power tower". Praise God. The staff on this floor (and others) LOVE him and make this time fun for him. Praise God. We get to check in on spiritual seeds we planted back in April and nurture them. Praise God. Dempsey's lumbar puncture w/ chemo went off without a hitch. Praise God. Sawyer was there to keep Demps company. Praise God. Jake was able to get out of the hospital for a few hours. Praise God. We are all alive and "healthy". Praise God.

You see? There is SO MUCH to praise God for. Yes, you have to look for it in order to see it. Then, you have to choose to give credit where credit is due.




Below are some of the activities we did OUTSIDE while Daddy (and Sawyer) were gone.
Hockey. Guess what... he LOVES hockey.
*Disclaimer: my pocket book got nervous about that fact.

This is some tossing game. Sorry, don't even know how to Google this.

Walking his "power tower" like a BOSS!

A fun toy that made some sounds. What kid doesn't love a steering wheel?

Dempsey conquered Choc-o-Bear's sand castle.

See that man? He's in line for the 2nd slot on Coral's Hero list.
Of course, Demps is #1.

Sass Pants walkin' through the halls, headed to the Play Room.

We love air hockey!

Jeepers he looks tiny.

Toys! This reminds me of Toy Story 3.

He has the chance to "call" anyone... even cartoon characters... and he calls his brother.
*tears*

Look at these men. Just look at them.
I don't know what I did to deserve them but y'all can NOT have them.

Today has been rather enjoyable. Can you say that when you're talking about CHOC and life with a cancer kid? Well, I'm going to!

Dempsey finished up his 24 hour infusion of High-Dose Methotrexate (chemo- MTX). Now it's 48 or more hours of fluid flushing. So far, so good. When they drew labs at the 24 hr mark it showed his MTX level to be around 23. They want it under 150... so, we're good! We need his body to get that level down to 0.1 as fast as possible. So, we're drinking Aloe Vera Plus (juice), smoothies, NEOLIFE shakes, extra water (above his IV fluids). We're eating organic whole foods and getting exercise. Yes, we're also geeking out with technology in various forms. We are laughing! Oh Lord are we laughing! Laughter is good for the soul, people. If you don't laugh, I fear your soul is dying. Find someone to laugh with not at. Okay? Okay.

This was the first photo I saw this morning. Most bestest wake-up image ever.

We tried to go outside to show Sawyer the hockey stuffs. Door was locked. Sadness.

Snacks of hummus and pita bread while Dempsey played with some new Mine Craft toys.

More air hockey... but with Sawyer this time.

After Daddy left he ate some homemade organic, free-range eggs with homemade seasoning.

He got a little tired in the afternoon but never napped.

When he had energy again, we went down to the 2nd floor just to watch the Finding Nemo cast swimming around, goofing off. Just something to do.

His face says it all.

Detox bath time! I brought the ingredients from home and he enjoyed a long warm soak.
Epsom salt, baking soda, Rosemary & Juniper Berry essential oils.

Daddy's back! So basketball is ON!
Our night nurse, Tracy, and the CNA brought Dempsey a basketball hoop, 2 balls, Lego blocks, and a matching game from the playroom because we said it stunk being at CHOC on the weekends because there was basically nothing fun to do. So, they blessed us.
When they dropped the goods off, Dempsey said "They love me, Mom."

Oh, to watch him jumping around, laughing, trash-talking his Daddy. It was beautiful... and comical.

This is the last picture I received today. My sweet boy is tuckered out. A good thing to be at sleep time. Notice what he's holding? Not one, but TWO toy syringes. I'm sure that's a Divine message and not at all on accident.

This evening Dempsey and I did several laps around the 5th floor. He wore a toy stethoscope around his neck and held a toy syringe in each hand. He gave several nurses "feel better" shots and spent the majority of the time acting as though they were shooting gizmos. Most of the words he said were "Chitty chitty chat chat.... chit.... chat." Anyone recognize that phrase? It's from Kung Fu Panda 3. Don't know it? Watch the movie. Then envision this almost-5 yr old walking the halls of a hospital saying that, like the fat panda does, while shooting off toy syringes and being hooked up to IV fluids. Precious comedy.

As Dempsey and I walked the halls we talked. When we passed the gentleman pushing the floor cleaning machine, I shared with Dempsey that we should pray for that man. We should always be kind to everyone we meet. We should always look them in the eye and tell them "thank you" for whatever they are doing because each person in this hospital serves an important purpose. Friends, there are so many teachable moments. Don't waste them. Pour into the hearts of your children (no matter their age) so they will pour into others when they are out of your care. THAT is what changes the world. I am not interested in raising Einsteins. If I do, great, but that is not my goal. No, I would rather raise Mother Theresa's. 

We love YOU! We need YOU!
We are praying for YOU! GOD IS GOOD!

Please keep praying! We are nowhere near done with this journey.
Prayer requests:
Pray for miracles
Pray against negative side effects
Pray against pain
Pray against neuropathy
Pray protection over his organs and body systems
Pray protection over his sweet heart and mind
Pray for continued and increased strength (he is not weak, don't worry)
Pray for restorative rest
Pray for laughter, lots of laughter
Pray for positive distractions
Pray for specific amnesia so that he only remembers the good from this journey
Pray against fear, anxiety, worry, stress (that's for us big folk)
Pray protection over Sawyer
Pray that we will be salt and light in a world hungry for hope
Pray that we say just the right things to the right people at the right time
Pray for the hospital staff, their families, and loved ones
Pray that wisdom will continue to seep into the medical world
Pray for new research to be done and logged on alternative treatments (not drugs)
Pray as you feel led.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Emptying of Thoughts

I feel wrung out. Not a stiff part to hold me up. Each breath primes the pump of my tears. Can't put thoughts together if I had duct tape and a stapler. Watching my husband gather items and process the List... I just sit, stuck under the weight of it all. I know I shouldn't be fearful. But I am. I know I shouldn't worry. But I do. I know God is with me and loves Dempsey more than I do... but I have questions.

I prepped the vitamins and essential oils- two check marks for me. It's not enough. It never feels like enough. I made gelatin to help Dempsey swallow those damned pills. I made eggs to nourish his little body. Two more check marks. It's not enough.

My body aches. All of me aches in various ways.

I am grateful for my husband. My super-man! Grateful for my village. Grateful for the support of strangers and prayers from around the globe. Thankful for a God who is bigger than the depths of my sorrow and short-comings. Blessed by my children, who show me daily my reason for living. They teach me so much and show me how much I have yet to learn. Grateful for the words of understanding and encouragement from those people who have walked this journey before me. So hard to believe the words they share sometimes but important to internalize and hang hope on.

I don't fear change. I grieve the unmet expectations I possess. I grieve the "plans" I had and have to adjust. I grieve the life we were living. I process guilt for not having more faith and trust in the One who orchestrates my every breath and allows things to befall me in order to grow me, sanctify me. I grieve the independence I thought I cultivated all these years. I process needing people in ways I never dreamed.

I need grace. I need unconditional love. I need support. I need prayer. I need sleep.

Good night.

Tomorrow Admission

We have to be at CHOC at 8am tomorrow morning to be admitted.

Then Demps has a lumbar puncture w/ chemo at 12pm. He cannot eat anything after 4am tomorrow and will not leave CHOC until Monday at earliest.

I'm going to go fall apart now.