Biggest Need

MONEY

It's not glamorous. It's not pretty. It's not fun. It's not creative. It's not ingenious. It's not smart. It's not comical.

It is endearing. It is powerful. It is helpful. It is necessary. It is provision. It is humbling. It is impactful. It is peace-providing.

You have two ways you can give: YouCaring & PayPal

Friday, June 17, 2016

Thank You, Lord, for Validation

So, if you've been following along you know this mama has had quite the emotional roller coaster recently. Thankfully, this week ended on a much higher note than it began. Let me share the recent "highs".

On Wednesday I returned a call from Dr Shane, a cancer coach from beatcancer.org. It was a short conversation that ended with an appointment for me to call her on Thursday. So I did. We talked for about 40 minutes. She was taking a bit of a history on Dempsey. I love that she is appalled at what is happening to Dempsey. She is also well aware that if we don't follow what the medical "professionals" tell us "needs" to happen, we can lose Dempsey to Child Protective Services (or whatever that agency is called in California). Amid our conversation I explained our eating habits, the alternative health practices we already employ, Dempsey's diagnosis, etc. Her last question to me was "What kind of water do you have in your house?" When I answered "We have reverse osmosis (RO)" I swear I heard her fall off her chair. When she caught her wits she said "You're like the perfect client." That was reassuring. The realization that all that we are doing is impressing a cancer coach... that feels pretty good.

Then, last night, came a long-awaited phone call. Kari and I were finally able to connect audibly, instead of just digitally. What a life-giving 90 minutes for me!! I don't know what God's got in store for me through or after this journey but I do know I want to do something with the KICKcancER Movement that Kari is a leader of, alongside Season. Kari was privy to some details of Dempsey's journey because of email and private message communication we've had. The main reason for this call was to discuss the purchase of a BioMat for Dempsey and some how-to coaching about castor oil packs. Beyond these points we discussed a myriad of cancer life details. She, too, asked about our current use of nutrition, essential oils, etc. When I explained what our life looks like she asked "How far into this journey are you?" I told her "We are in month three." She was surprised. She told me so. She said "With what you are already doing I would have assumed you were much farther along in this cancer journey." She said that most parents she talks to are not as educated as I am and most aren't as nutritionally aware either. This made me feel a ton better about this journey and how we're doing. If I'm already doing things right, then I KNOW Dempsey is getting the best help he can to come out of this treatment strong and healthy with no worry of a secondary cancer. I know there's no guarantee of no cancer again... but we can certainly aim for that! It was just super reassuring that I'm doing the right things.

God lined up my life prior to cancer just perfectly, as he does. I would not have the confidence I have if I didn't have the knowledge about nutrition and oils and "alternative" therapies. He gave me the resources I needed to get Dempsey through this nightmarish journey with as little damage to his long-term health as possible. Now, I just need to put my big girl pants on and continue to fight every battle in this cancer war for and with Dempsey. So, God, you listening? I need to FEEL you with me EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. You've gotta let me know when I'm gettin' off course. Okay? Okay.

I particularly love it when other parents refer to this cancer journey with modern medicine as a "shit storm". That's exactly what this is!!! There is no way to pretty this up. I personally don't think it needs to be prettied up. Call it what it is- a total shit storm. How do you marry two opposite schools of thought with grace? On one hand I am determined to help Dempsey's body heal itself with natural methods (nutrition, essential oils, infrared heat, exercise, detox, etc) and on the other I have to walk with those "trained" in medicine and pharmacology. This aspect of the journey is hard to swallow and even harder to apply. But, we're trying.

Praises:
Dempsey has a week off!! No appointments until next Friday and that is just labs.
Dempsey is doing well!! His color is good, his energy is good, his appetite is good, his elimination is good, his sleep is good... He's good!
Today was a good day.
This mama is feeling emotionally stronger right now.
Jake is an amazing dad! He handled today's appointment to give me a little more space between last weeks nightmare scenario.
Sawyer had a wonderful experience at baseball camp thanks to some generous friends.
We get to be "normal" for awhile.

Pray requests:
Pray for miraculous healing
Pray for small and large miracles along the way
Pray for zero side effects
Pray for zero pain
Pray for courage
Pray protection over every organ in Dempsey's body
Pray protection over Dempsey in general
Pray protection over Sawyer's brother heart
Pray protection over our marriage
Pray a hedge of protection over our home
Pray we can be salt and light to all we meet on this journey
Pray that our path is clearly marked from the Lord
Pray that Dempsey's counts/ numbers rise
Pray that we will stay the course to fight the battles in this war
Pray as you feel led

More Pics... Just Because

A Prayer

Heavenly Father,

I ask for your protection over Dempsey today and every day. I pray that as the chemotherapy courses through his little body that you will protect his still-maturing organs. I pray that no harm will come to ANY part of his little body. I pray for zero side effects of the lumbar puncture and chemotherapy. I pray for miraculous healing. I pray that Dempsey won't remember anything about these horrible appointments as soon as they are done. I pray for the doctors and medical staff involved in Dempsey's care. I pray that your angels will stand in the gap as protection against the forces of darkness that are lurking, looking for an opportune moment to pounce. I pray for the medical profession to wake up and realize they are perpetuating sickness with their "treatments". I pray this country will wake up and realize there is a better way. I pray that you will guide this misdirected ship to a port of redemption so that we, the American citizens, can take back OUR health. I pray for Jake's daddy heart during Dempsey's appointment. This is hard on him and he does well dealing with that reality. I pray that you would fill the procedure room with the Holy Spirit and that there would be healing, peace, awareness of your presence, calmness, and anything else you wish to add. I pray that I would never put you in a box or put human limits on your divine abilities. I pray that I can always walk this journey with you and in faith. I am scared. We are scared. We are trusting you while working with people who believe so many things in contrast to what we believe. Help us to be salt and light and I pray you give me (or us) a clear path to follow with the knowledge and experience you are providing me.

Amen.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

How We Did || Chick fil-A Fundraiser

So, how did we do with the Chick fil-A fundraiser on June 7th? Well, let me tell you.

YOU DID AWESOME!!!
You raised $627.86

That means, in those three short hours, Chick fil-A had about $3,139.30 in sales! $1,000 an hour? Not to shabby.

$3,139.30 at an average of $8 per meal gets us about 393 meals (or people). Roughly 400 hundred people served in three hours! Incredible.

I had about 30 volunteers help out with this event. There were at least 10 youth (6th grade and below) and a handful of other youth (under 18) helpers who refilled drinks, cleared tables, held the door, picked up trash, and just made it an awesome experience. These awesome volunteers made it so I didn't have to "work" the event and I could just BE with the guests. Life-giving.

So many faces! So many hugs! Some faces I'd never seen in real life. Some faces I hadn't seen in 20 yrs. Some faces were strangers before this event. Just beautiful.

There were several personal donations handed to the volunteers to "give to parents". How awesome is that? People who weren't there for our event gave to our cause. Such blessings.

You can view the photos of the event we have so far by clicking HERE.

Here is the text of the note from Chick fil-A manager Tim. It's made out to Kim because she was the contact for this event:
"Kim,
I don't even know what to say. Your Spirit Night was absolutely amazing. This may have been the biggest one to date. Thank you so much to you and your team for the work you guys put in. I hope this check helps with some of the medical expenses Dempsey. What a cool kid!
Thank you,
Tim"


Isn't that awesome? I was waiting to post about this because I wanted to include any records we may have broken. I still haven't heard. I will update if we did, in fact, break any records.

We could not have done it without YOU!
THANK YOU  THANK YOU  THANK YOU

Be blessed, friends.

PayPal     MealTrain     The Pledge

Monday, June 13, 2016

Such Boys

I just LOVE hearing laughter come from the bathroom during bath time. Jake is handling bath time tonight and I hear:
Singing
Laughter
Farts
Louder laughter
Groans from olfactory senses
Belly laughter

It is good for my ears and my soul.


Thank you for praying over my family. I wish you could understand how much we need it and how much it helps us.

Out With It

Today I feel weak. Broken. Tired. So, I'm just going to let the thoughts flow and see if that helps.

My baby has cancer.
I cannot believe my baby has cancer.
He's getting chemotherapy.
My baby is having toxins pumped into his body in the name of "cure".
Why is this the treatment?
Where are the natural methods?
Why don't doctors ever talk about nutrition as a component of treatment?
It is SO hard for me to trust doctors and yet, that's all I can really do right now.
I AM helping my baby with alternative methods.
I am trying to give him the best possible chance.
I am doing a good job.
It doesn't feel like enough.
It's never enough.
I should be doing more.
What more is there to do?
I'm so tired.
I'm tired of fear.
I'm tired of worry.
I know scripture tells us to not worry but come on... how can you not worry a little when you have NO CLUE what the day will hold.
I don't know how to plan emotions.
I guess you don't really plan emotions though.
They just.... happen. Willy nilly.
I don't like that.
It's not comfortable.
I've reached out to people who are helping their cancer kiddos with alternative methods while undergoing the "standard treatment" of chemotherapy.
If their kids are doing "well" then I want my kid to do "well" also.
It is so hard to live with a child whose emotions are roller coaster-like.
It's hard to watch him struggle with his emotions and lack of words.
It's hard to watch his hair fall out strand by strand.
His hair will be gone soon enough.
It grows back.
It doesn't make the losing of it easier.
In just want to cry.
Then my eyes will get puffy and my nose stuffy.
Yeah, it releases something but then I have to deal with puffy and stuffy.
Meh.
My body hurts.
I haven't slept well for two nights.
Crappy neighbors one night and an overactive mind the next.
I need a massage.
It's so hard to schedule/ plan things... never know how Dempsey's gonna do.
It's hard to have people come over.
I'm grateful that those that do come over are willing to shower and put on fresh clothes before their visit and then use the sanitizer we have.
I want our life back.
I resent cancer.
It has overtaken our life.
Nothing is easy any more.
Everything must be calculated.
Yes, we went to the beach.
It was good.
Dempsey threw up that night.
Unrelated, I believe.
I hate watching him throw up.
The smell....!!
His poor body.
His poor little boy heart.
Why is this happening to him?
I thought we were doing things right.
Does it even matter?
Of course it matters!
We must keep doing things right... that's what gives Dempsey they upper hand against this leukemia.
Treatment is so scary.
I'm still not recovered from his allergic reaction last week.
He is... mostly.
He had labs this morning.
"Easy" appointment but he had some anxiety because the last time his was there he had a terrifying experience.
I pray there aren't any more terrifying experiences... I hear they are likely to happen though.
How do you prepare for that?
I mean, really, how do you prepare for that?!
Until you live this, or something like it, you will never know how hard it is to function when your nerves that are already raw remain on high alert.
I am grateful for prayer.
I am grateful that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people praying for us.
I try to reframe my perspective.
That gets tiring.
It's such a tightrope act.
I feel so lost.
I had direction for my life just 3 short months ago.
Now, someone turned the snow globe of my life upside down and is still shaking the contents violently.
I just want them to set it back down and let the contents settle.
Calm.
Predictable.
I'm sure that's anti-spiritual... desiring calm and predictable.
Sure limits the Holy Spirit.
I'm okay with that right now.
I just want to rest.
I want to sleep for 3 yrs and wake up when this nightmare is over.
Then I feel guilty for that.
Guilty about me wanting to leave Dempsey to deal with this without me.
Weakness.
How unfair is this?
What did he do that this should happen to him?
What are we all supposed to learn?
Can we learn it faster?
I try so hard to live in the NOW.
It's hard when I'm so tired.
I don't have the strength to stop the fearful thoughts.
Depression looms in the distance like a leopard waiting the chance to pounce.
I sense it.
It's familiar.
The predator is not welcome here.
As I type, Dempsey is playing wii.
So much technology.
I used to care.
Then he got cancer.
Now he's trapped indoors until his numbers are "safe".
What the hell does that mean anyway?
Safe?
Can you be truly safe when your own body is trying to kill you?
That's what happening.
His body is producing cancer cells- in his very marrow!
Where is our miracle?
Healing.
THAT is what we want.
THAT is what we need.
I'm sure God understands our short-sighted goals.
It's hard to be home so much.
I'm an extrovert.
I don't have a steady job anymore.
That's hard.
Yes, I have NeoLife and doTERRA.
I am grateful.
I am able to still tithe because of them- which is important to me.
But those require too much of me to build during this season.
Thankful that some structure is already in place.
Love my teams.
So much information to sift through.
Nutrition.
Oils.
Castor oil packs.
Bone broth.
Exercise.
Supplements.
Drugs.
Three years of a cancer journey.
Trying to hold onto the fact that this "will end" one day.
They tell me "He will be healthy again."
So hard to believe when trudging through the sludge that is my child having leukemia.
New friends who get it.
Old friends who don't but want to love us through this.
Priceless.
Purpose.
There IS a purpose.
I don't know what it is.
Maybe there's more than one.
Who cares.
I just want Dempsey healed!!
Why can't I fix him?
So many thoughts.
Even more emotions.
Such a scary, terrifying path.
I was so arrogant.
Now, seriously humbled.
The tears need to come again.
They aren't quite ready.
I'm tired.
Still so tired.
I miss the way life was.
I can't carry anyone today.
I can't reassure anyone today.
I just don't have it.
I do love you (readers).
I do need you.
I do value you.
I am grateful for you.

Be blessed, friends.
PayPal     MealTrain     The Pledge

Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Pledge

We wanted to take a moment to say thank you for all your prayers and material support. You are helping us through this journey and THAT deserves more than we can repay. Your prayers are the very things that are carrying us through this difficult time and we are grateful to you for petitioning the Lord on our behalf. Dempsey is doing well (all things considered) because of your prayers. Our marriage remains strong, despite being tested, because of your prayers. Sawyer is thriving, even though Dempsey is receiving so much of our attention, because of your prayers.

The Pledge will cover another area of need that Dempsey has during this journey- his increased nutritional needs. Please pray over this and consider pledging. Please share The Pledge with others and allow them the option to pledge themselves. We are working HARD not to limit God and so when we have a need, or an idea, we throw it out there. You all have been SO generous and you never cease to amaze us. The Lord is good. He knows our needs. He knows your hearts. In God's economy, nothing is impossible.

We pray you are blessed beyond comprehension. THANK YOU!