Let Them Come

This book was included in the most recent Boost of Joy box. It's the story behind NEGU and Joy Jars and www.jessie.org.

As I read a fellow cancer parent's journey, so many emotions resonate with me. The heartbreak. The fear. The faith. The questions. The resolution. The purpose.

I am more eager to meet Erik Rees and cisit the Joy Factory in Irvine.

I haven't completed a book in at least a year but I think I shall finish this one in short order, despite the hard and beautiful topic. Silver lining to having one's back go out.

If you haven't heard of Joy Jars or Jessie Rees, do some Googling and let your heart be touched. Pure inspiration.

Splurge: A Movie Night

As I mentioned in the previous post, we broke the technology fast for a movie night last night. What a treat!

We watched Song of the Sea. Oh. My. Goodness! If you have not seen this movie you should totally watch it. It's simply beautiful. The art, the story, the Irish-ness. It's unlike any of today's cookie-cutter movies, and I fancy that.

Not only did we watch this wonderful movie, but we ate popcorn too. Not the best popcorn but definitely not the worst popcorn- when it comes to ingredients and clean-ness (health wise). I drowned it in melted Kerigold butter (good, healthy fat) and ground some Himalayan salt over it. Yum! The bowl from which Dempsey and I ate made it all the more special because it was his NEGU bowl from the most recent NEGU Family Fun Pack. Dempsey was not happy that he only got to eat about 1/2 of the popcorn in our bowl. Hahaha. He scoped out a second bag of popcorn in the kitchen and was perturbed when I told him that had to wait for next week's movie night.

Dempsey sat/ snuggled with me and Sawyer sat/ snuggled with Jake. It was wonderful. Jake and I were both surprised how engaged Dempsey stayed through the whole thing (except for a potty break). He truly understood the art and his questions were good and in line with the story. Sawyer really enjoyed the movie as well. Although, that's not surprising because he's his father's son when it comes to movies. Jake and I talked about this movie for probably 20 minutes after putting the boys to bed. So many layers to unpack, discuss, and still some questions with no answers.

When the movie was over, Mr. Dempsey was a tad indignant because he wanted to watch ANOTHER movie (Stuart Little 2). A couple thoughts about this fact: 1. He had a nap so he wasn't quite as tired as the rest of us, thus not wanting/ ready to go to sleep and 2. This shows how there is still a tech addiction at play. We assured him Stuart Little 2 is on the list of movies we'll watch (I am less than thrilled about that) and he seemed to mellow out pretty quick.

What is next week's movie: Cinderella- the recent live-action version.

Feel free to share a movie you think the Kenagy-4 should put on their short list for movie nights.

**Sorry, I didn't manage any photos of the evening.

A Little Update

Nothing much to report here. That's always nice.

Dempsey is still at 75% dose of MTX and 6MP. That will likely change, for the worse, come Tuesday's lab results. I know the doctors will want to push him back up to 100% dose if his labs are good. I'm not prepared for a fight right now.
     God, please protect my boy during my weak times. Amen

This passed Monday I had a complete breakdown. Fully equipped with ugly crying, puffy eyes for days, accusatory words, emotional depletion and distance, depression... the whole nine yards. It was bad. Poor Jake bore the brunt of it but the kids felt it too. Thankfully I am married to a man who loves me enough to walk through the fire and that there is infinite grace at the Cross.

So, what was the straw that broke this camel's back? The fact that Dempsey would not help Sawyer fold laundry. He just would not. The ONE thing I asked them to do and Dempsey just couldn't find it in himself to obey me. Even with Sawyer encouraging him. Even with me talking in nice tones and spewing positive words. Even with less-nice tones and phrases that started to elude to threats. Nope. Dempsey could only muster tears and disobedience while the front of his body seemed magnetized to the couch.

Naturally... I LOST IT. Like completely blew a gasket or three.

Poor Dempsey had his spirit trampled. Not my finest hour. Not quite my worst, but still... He and I talked, when I felt the fire on my head and in my heart has lessened to a smolder. We had a good talk. I apologized. I explained the idea of this family being a team. I reminded him how much we need HIM to do HIS part on this team just like the rest of us do OUR part. I don't know... maybe it's a tad too much for a 5 year old to grasp but I know he's intelligent. I also know we're all allowed to have bad days. What is not allowed is disobedience. I tried to explain that I don't expect a smile or cheery attitude about doing what is asked but I DO expect him to DO it. We'll see what happens next time.

What did all of this result in? Well, we now have no technology (ie NO TV, iPad, iPhone, wii, movies, Kindle, white noise, Junior Stories, etc). It's been 5 days and we will break this tech fast tonight for a movie night. Then, back to no tech. Why the leap from disobedience to no tech? Because technology is an idol in my children's hearts (ours too probably, if we're being honest) and it hinders them from being obedient.

The reality of all this?
1. I have limits and I am not always aware of the speed at which their end is approaching or from what direction.
2. Life without technology is beautiful and PRODUCTIVE! We have spent more time playing together, exploring, learning new games, using imagination, getting work done... and "work" doesn't seem like "work" to them because there is no "better" option (aka technology).
3. Naps can still happen at all our ages and are a great way to reset our bodies occasionally.
4. Priorities are MUCH clearer and seem to be more easily attained.
5. We were- are- addicted to tech. This is a hard truth to swallow but acknowledging you have a problem is the first step in working to correct it.

There you have it. A little update.

NUDT15 Results

I finally heard back about the genetic test- NUDT15- today.

Good news and bad news.

Good news: no genetic mutation here

Bad news: no genetic mutation here

Why is it the SAME? Because I wanted there to be a mutation so 1. that would explain his intolerance to current 6MP and MTX dosage (aka liver enzymes skyrocketing) and 2. he would move forward with a lower dosage. However, I suppose no mutation is also a good thing.

With a negative result, I now have to dive deeper into research about how his homozygous 1298 MTHFR mutation is at work here. I think I may just approach one of his nine oncologists... the one who believes MTHFR is a thing. Too bad if primary ONC doesn't like that.

I would appreciate prayer over this situation. I need wisdom, clarity, focus. I need the Holy Spirit to guide me to the information that will help Dempsey (and hopefully other kiddos in the future). I need peace about my netxt steps. As always, pray as you feel led.

Also, tangible needs this week are:
Baking Soda for detox baths- wherever you can find it the cheapest
Funds for supplements: www.PayPal.me/coralkenagy
          See chart below for supplement costs.

What If We Were All This Generous?

Yesterday I got an email from a sweet woman. Keep in mind that I have never "met" her face to face but our husbands have history. This sweet woman and her husband have tangibly blessed us before and this day was no different.

Her email stated that she and her husband wanted to bless again and that it would be best to talk over the phone instead of via email. So, Jake called the husband today and had a conversation.

Y'all, I cannot go into all the details but know this:
This couple is grieving a loss so profound I have no words for it and yet they desire to bless US, our sweet Dempsey, with the overflow of love/ support/ generosity they are receiving from their network right now. They acknowledge their needs are few and the needs they have can't all be met with material goods. Alas, people who love them want to bless them in the ways they know how. It really is beautiful when there is so much blessing one needs to share it. So, they were asking if there were specific ways that WE needed to be blessed. Things we needed? Support that would be helpful?

I am still in shock.

My friend stated that part of their goal, in all this, is to "introduce Dempsey to as many people in our communities as possible". How does a chest contain a heart that big? Only in the Lord's economy.

Our friends, even in their grieving are looking out for us. We try to do that for others as well. I think stories like THIS need to make the news. How much kinder would the world be if we were all this generous?

Challenge: how can you bless someone today? Someone who, perhaps, cannot repay you- ever...

Follow-up...
We played the Lazy Card and went to Chipotle for dinner tonight as a family. While there we saw a friend, eating by himself. We said hello and sat at the table next to him, quietly so as not to force him to interact with us if he was having a pleasant solitary dinner.

While seated, a man came around asking for change. I didn't have any and he moved on to our friend. Our friend offered to buy this man dinner and the man accepted. We watched the interaction and marveled at our friend's generosity. Our friend stood with the man and even sat, talking with the man while he ate his food. Jake looked across the dining area and smiled- our friend was praying with the man.

Way to go, friend! Way to be the literal hands and feet of Jesus. Perhaps that man was an angel we missed out on blessing. Our friend certainly didn't miss out and who knows where their conversation and prayer led.

Challenge II: what act of generosity did you witness today? How did it make you feel?

Some Photos of Late

 That DAY Whittier had hail in the winter of 2017.

SoCal kids pulled up chairs and blankets to take it in.

The only photo of US around our actual anniversary.

11 years and going strong. 

This man works so hard and deserves all the naps he can get. 

Handwritten notes for each of Daddy's goody bags for when he's on a work retreat.

Um, folks... that's a Double Double he's finishing.