Happy Mother's Day

As I start receiving loving messages of "Happy Mother's Day" this morning, I pause to survey my emotions.

Joy.
Love.
Gratitude.
Thankfulness.
Sadness.
Grief.

I'm sure there's more, too.

Joy because I have the most amazing husband who helped make me a mama- twice. The most perfect helpmate and life partner this woman could have. Two incredible sons that are already changing the world for the better. One who has been sent to me, in part, to be my rock and reason for for staying "present" in life. The other has been sent, in part, to bring me life-changing, heart wall demolishing, faith-building growth and more. I pray that I leave a legacy of love with and for these three gifts from God- my husband and two sons.

Love. Man! I have never been the center of so much love if you add my whole life together as I am right now. Love from family. Love from friends recent and long ago. Love from strangers to me. Love with prayer. Love with food. Love with gifts. Love with words. Love with presence. Love. Love is not only an amorous feeling. Love is not always easy. Love is a choice. It's choosing to care for someone when it's easy AND when it's hard. And boy, I'm I loved.

For all that love, I am grateful. God has opened my eyes and my heart in new ways. Ways that make it impossible to return to who I was. Too much width and depth between me then and me now. I am grateful. Gratfeul for God's faithfulness in joyful times and in times of despair. Grateful that He placed an incredible support structure around me to carry me through such a surreal journey. Grateful for everything I have and even what I don't have- because I have just what I need.

For me, being thankful is being able to find the good in bad situations and be glad about it. When I harness this I find strength in even dark seasons. I wasn't always a thankful person. It took time and practice for me to cultivate this in a genuine manner. Thankfulness is more than a fleeting "Thank you" out of obligation because, of course, manners. It comes from a place deep inside that realizes my life is not by accident and that my God-given job is not to be happy but obedient. When my focus is on the Lord, knowing HE knows what I need... thankfulness abounds.

Sadness because life is hard right now. Sadness because some relationships aren't as I expected. Sadness because there is pain and struggle. Sadness because I don't know where "normal" went. Sadness because my heart is aching. I think where there is true joy there will also be sadness.

Why grief? Because of loved ones gone, never to return. Because when things change in a shocking way I have to process through some tough stuff and those stages have been labeled "grief". Because there are circumstances currently at play that are so far beyond my realm of control. Because I survey the lives of dear friends and loved ones and see such profound pain. Grief happens. It's okay. I lean into it, work to feel it, and know I will emerge triumphant one day.

Be blessed today and everday my friends! YOU are worth celebrating EVERY DAY. People are worth celebrating every day.