Falling Apart

Dempsey MUST swallow pills for treatment.
He cannot.
But he must!
He cannot.
I failed him. I did not prepare, practice, teach, coach him ahead of time. Now it's game time and he can't do it.
But he MUST.
So angry and frustrated, I threw the glove off, rushed out of the house slamming the door and uttering the "f" word in gerund form with a negative spin. Not my finest hour but one that speaks of truth and reality for me.
Terrified isn't visible in the rearview mirror... that's how beyond it I am.
I walked around my neighborhood, sobbing, and asking God "WHY?!?!?!" My eyes are off the prize and fear has taken root. God, forgive me.
I'm falling apart.
#prayfordempsey #prayfordempseysparentstoo #godisgood #waroncancer