Next week's schedule:
Monday (a LONG infusion day):
- Erwinia (new chemo drug) infusion over 2 hours with 1 hour observation
This is the new drug because he had such a horrific allergic reaction to the PEG 2 weeks ago. PEG is made from e-coli and this Erwinia is made from chrysanthemum. This drug is KNOWN to raise ammonia levels and they DO NOT check patient's levels- AT ALL. Well, you know me... someone's gonna be checking my baby's ammonia levels EVERY BLOOMIN' WEEK! The ammonia release in their body is a reason for the nausea and vomiting and can cause a coma if not checked/ regulated. HELLO! I don't give a rats patootie if "it's extremely rare"... check the levels! Thankfully our primary oncologist is willing to work with me on this. - Cytoxan (he's had before)
- ARAC (he's had before)
- Mercaptopurine (pills he's done before)
Tuesday:
- Cytoxan (he's had before)
- ARAC (he's had before)
- Mercaptopurine (pills he's done before)
Wednesday:
- Erwinia (new chemo drug) infusion over 2 hours with 1 hour observation
- Cytoxan (he's had before)
- ARAC (he's had before)
- Mercaptopurine (pills he's done before)
Thursday:
- Cytoxan (he's had before)
- ARAC (he's had before)
- Mercaptopurine (pills he's done before)
Friday:
- Erwinia (possible injection dose)
The injection is said to have less side effects despite having a longer half life (72 hrs). I am so mixed about this drug. The primary oncologist says she doesn't have another option beyond this drug and that it's a crucial part of treatment. *pulling my hair out*
This schedule repeats the following week as well.
We will be spending so many hours at CHOC OPI center. I am about to lose IT over these drugs. The more I study about the history of the medical profession as we know it, the more enraged I become. This journey is ugly! This next phase is brutal. I cannot understand how people blindly go along with this kind of treatment. Dempsey doesn't have a chemotherapy deficiency!! Some part of his body's communication broke down. We need to figure out what step didn't work right and fix that!
Lord, I beg you to miraculously heal my baby! I'm talking the kind of healing that levels the "knowledge" and "science-based proof" of the medical profession. I want my baby to be rid of this cancer so we can get back to living the precious life you gave us. I am weak, Lord. I can't handle this. I need YOU. I need you to show me the way out from this. I'm so lost, Lord. I'm so conflicted. My heart is torn. Why haven't you healed my baby? Why does his little body have to endure such torture at the hands of those who don't understand there is a better way? Why won't you let me compartmentalize my thoughts and emotions? I don't want to feel anymore. It's hard. It's horrible. It's exhausting. I try not to worry but I know things. I wish I didn't know things. I just want this to end. Now! Not in another 37 months. Now! I am a mother begging on behalf of her child. You didn't make Abraham wait 3 years and 3 months for Isaac's deliverance from the alter... Please, Lord... touch my son with your miracle filled fingers. Amen
Prayer requests:
Pray for MIRACULOUS HEALING (Lord, I'm waiting!!!)
Pray protection over every non-leukemia cell in Dempsey's body
Pray that the drugs go into his body, kill the sick cells, and quickly vacate his little body leaving NO sign of their presence, other than no leukemia cells
Pray against negative side effects
Pray against complications
Pray against allergic reactions
Pray for calm nerves
Pray for my sanity
Pray that I can embrace and enjoy the next 60 hours of "normal" with my family
Pray protection over Sawyer- these coming weeks are going to stress our family
Pray that this coming week is smooth and uninteresting
Pray for wisdom for ALL medical staff
Pray accuracy for the pharmacists who mix my boy's drugs
Pray for steady hands
Pray blessings and peace over the lives of the medical staff
Pray for wisdom and Divine guidance for us through this shitty valley called cancer
Pray that each of us can live in the moment and never be captive to the life-sucking emotions of fear and worry
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