So, I finally watched this. I wasn't going to but so many fellow cancer moms were talking about it and sharing it I decided it was worth the risk to my emotion dam.
So powerful.
I have been in each of these scenarios and have felt what is depicted.
The screaming in the car while cursing God and hitting the steering wheel until I had nothing left... only to drive down the dark 5 fwy and park in a children's hospital parking lot and walk through the automatic doors into the unknown.
The shower crying, as you just hope the water will wash all the feels down the drain so you can find the foundation of peace you once had.
The lugging armfuls of bags because you need to make the hospital feel as inviting as humanly possible- not only for your sick warrior child but also for yourself.
The crumbling over those damned orange bottles of poison that you know you MUST give your child all the while still hoping it's a nightmare you will wake from.
The laying in bed, tears streaming as they dampen a section of your pillow because you can't contain the emotions anymore and the crew that keeps your heart stitched together must've gone on strike.
Learning how to care for your child's new needs (port) before these doctors entrust their lives back to you again and tell you how capable you are when you're not even sure you remember how to tie your own shoes.
Then the resolve comes. You MUST regain control and composure so you can be all your warrior child (and other family members) needs you to be!
The screaming in the car while cursing God and hitting the steering wheel until I had nothing left... only to drive down the dark 5 fwy and park in a children's hospital parking lot and walk through the automatic doors into the unknown.
The shower crying, as you just hope the water will wash all the feels down the drain so you can find the foundation of peace you once had.
The lugging armfuls of bags because you need to make the hospital feel as inviting as humanly possible- not only for your sick warrior child but also for yourself.
The crumbling over those damned orange bottles of poison that you know you MUST give your child all the while still hoping it's a nightmare you will wake from.
The laying in bed, tears streaming as they dampen a section of your pillow because you can't contain the emotions anymore and the crew that keeps your heart stitched together must've gone on strike.
Learning how to care for your child's new needs (port) before these doctors entrust their lives back to you again and tell you how capable you are when you're not even sure you remember how to tie your own shoes.
Then the resolve comes. You MUST regain control and composure so you can be all your warrior child (and other family members) needs you to be!
DADDIES EXPERIENCE THIS TOO!! It most often looks different but they need prayer and support as well.
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