Today's "Fun"

My poor Sawyer. His heart gets trampled on daily by brother's chemotions. Every single day there is an incident, a misunderstanding, miscommunication, an unfortunate action or word. These incidences send Dempsey over the metaphorical edge and spiraling into a tornado of anger complete with winds of frustration. Dempsey loses words to convey his feelings and thoughts. It is sad. It is hard. It is torture for Sawyer, who just wants to make everything okay, peaceful, secure, and fair. When his heartfelt apologies fall on deaf ears or hard soil he feels dejected, unloved, shame-filled, and riddled with guilt.

THIS is what I have to help him navigate daily. It takes a long time for these lessons and growth moments to create trenches of habit and familiarity. I am just so blessed that these trying times are mine to share with my sweet Sawyer. No one else could secure his footing on this uneven path quite like his mama. Pray for my boy.

Later this day...

You know what's fun?
Giving your kids those air pockets from a package to pop only to have one pop more than the other, have feelings get hurt, anger waves, unforgiving hearts, a conversation about "you control your emotions" with a chemotional 5 year old, your 9yr old desperately trying to make things right with the 5yo only to be denied the acceptance of his genuine apology.

Fast forward 5 minutes, one child crying on their bed after refusing to even utter "I forgive you", one child crying on the couch because he has no way to make this "right", and me... typing this all out for you, the reader, so that you might catch a glimpse of what happens damn near everyday in my home.

Forgive me if my Christmas cheer can't be found with the light of 1,000 suns this year. It takes all I've got to make it through each day.

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