So Brave and Adaptable

It is the absolute WORST to watch your baby wailing in pain! So, remember that photo where I showed you his port and line (view post here)? Well, the external portion gets changed every 7 days (as long as he in inpatient).

Today is the second change out.

That means removing the dressing- PAINFUL. Our poor little guy had tears streaming down his cheek, yelling that it hurt, asking for permission to cry. He yelled at me when I tried to offer some breathing assistance. I yelled back. Why? Because no child of mine gets to disrespect me like that when I am trying to help. I told him "You can totally be upset, angry, frustrated, but you do not get to speak to me like that." He quickly explained himself and adjusted his tone toward me. Precious boy.

That was actually the easy part.

Two nurses and a Child Life person came in to put in the new line. Oh. My. God. This mama's heart was undone. Seriously had the thought of murdering those lovely ladies who were hurting my baby. Not a good emotional place at all.

To hear Dempsey shriek in pain, more than once... to hear him beg them to stop... to hear him say "I'm not brave"... to watch him try so hard to keep playing a game on the ipad as if his fingers knew his mind needed to be as distracted as possible... all these things are just too much.

And yet...

He has recovered physically already. Mere moments later he was okay again. I'm sure his emotional recovery is gonna take some time. I am waiting for him to blurt out something related to that procedure while playing wii or doing something totally unrelated. This is a little bit of how he processes.

Y'all... this mama needs prayer. Pray that God will calm my emotions and help me to dig deep into the reality that Dempsey needs this to get better. Most days I can manage this thought process quite well. Today is not one of those days. I haven't broken down and I don't think I will... but I am still very raw, exposed even, emotionally.

Prayer requests:

• Pain relief for Dempsey and no pain in the future
• Increased pain tolerance
• No infection
• No fevers
• Excellent blood levels
• High spirits
• Laughter
• Restful sleep
• No fear
• Courage, bravery
• Trust
• Acceptance
• Emotional/ mental/ spiritual/ physical protection
• Appropriate amnesia (so he doesn't remember the bad stuff)
• Perfect results- ALWAYS
• Protection over me and Jake- all facets of life
• Protection over Sawyer and my parents as they adventure