Overwhelming

Finishing up the first 24 hours back at home.

It's strange.

So many details for this leukemia journey. So many responsibilities that CANNOT be missed or delegated. So many doctors who each play an important role in our lives now. So many phone numbers and names to log. So many people to thank for their support. So many questions still ahead. So many ugly things in Dempsey's future. So many prayers being answered. So many prayers yet to be answered how we want. So many...

It's one thing to make changes for yourself willingly. It's another thing entirely to have them thrust upon you with zero possibility of dismissal. You MUST change. Trying so hard to not get depressed about that reality. This life is all about perspective. So, instead of the poor me stance I am working to choose a why not me stance. The first stance is selfish, inward focused, dark, full of short-coming. The second, however, is full of strength, determination, faith, impact, and adventure. Now, it's a challenge to remain in the why not me mode when you're tired, hungry, scared, hurting, frustrated, sad, etc. Thankfully we serve a BIG GOD.

God is for us. He knew Dempsey was destined for this journey and he chose me to be his mama, and this family to walk this journey with him. So, that tells me God knew I (we) could handle it. There is power in knowing God thinks you're capable. If you aren't tapped into that power, it is worth considering.